That’s Right. He’s Back.

BREAKING NEWS: Brett Favre has officially announced that he is coming out of retirement once again to play in the NFL again. *

The last time we saw Brett Favre in uniform was on December 5th, 2010 before he was forced to leave the game due to a devastating shoulder injury (was diagnosed as a slight strain after the game). The veteran had the presence of mind to throw an interception on what so many foolishly believed to be the last of his career to give back-up quarterback, Tarvaris Jackson, enough time to warm-up on the sidelines. This smart play let the Vikings oust the Buffalo Bills 38-14 en route to a memorable 6-10 season. However, it was a sad and serious day for the NFL when Brett Favre finally decided to retire at the end of the season. Or so we thought…


Since then, there has been little talk about Brett Favre around the NFL. It seems to many like he had disappeared of the edge of the earth. Distraught supporters questioned if the 46 year-old ‘gunslinger’ would ever return to the NFL, again, after such a horrific shoulder injury. To their belief, sources have just recently revealed that Brett has gone through intensive rehab and is 100% now. Scouts have said “He looks younger than ever and is still at the peak of his career”.Brett has been putting his body through an intense and unorthodox style of training for the last 5 off-seasons in his hometown of Mississippi. He has gone through grueling workouts that include fishing, hunting , wrangler commercials, and reminiscing over the glory days as a Packer, Jet, and Viking. He has been getting first team reps with his pick-up football team in his backyard.

There has been a lot of speculation about his motive to return to the league as he currently holds a number of records for the NFL. He currently has the following records: all-time winningest quarterback, most career pass yards, most career pass completions, and more most consecutive starts by a player. Many believe that Favre want to reclaim the record of most touchdown passes that was taken by Payton Manning. However, we recently just learned Brett’s real motive and can see why he has been so motivated to come back to the league. He is afraid that his record for most interceptions thrown (336) is at risk. Payton Manning only needs 102 more interceptions to equal Brett’s impressive accomplishment. Payton only needs to throw an interception every game for the next 6 seasons. Favre is “not going to leave it up to chance”. With the improved catching ability of safety’s and defensive backs, Brett calculates that he would only need to play a handful of games to ensure that the record never be beaten. If that’s not enough motivation for him, he has also been equally motivated to keep the records for most times sacked and most fumbles.

It is unclear where he will go with so many teams having shown interest. Favre has a history of being loyal to franchises, so it seems like the Detroit Lions and the Chicago Bears have the best shot at landing him.

* Disclaimer: This story is satire.

Satire (noun): the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

Images: g g g


9 thoughts on “That’s Right. He’s Back.”

  1. If Favre can put his alleged personal motives aside and do what is best for his new team, I’d like to see him have a shot leading Chip Kelly’s spread offense in Philly.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Favre may be retired at 46, but you also mentioned Payton Manning and he’s still going strong at 40. Well, going strong meaning some issues with injuries, no?
      When is the right time for an NFL player to retire? I understand the players want to get every record they can, but I imagine the risk of injury severely increases with age. Does the NFL have a policy about retirement age? If not, should it?


    2. His running ability and his elusiveness in the open field would be a nightmare for defenses around the league. The NFL doesn’t have a retirement policy, but it could change if we were to see Payton or Brett or anyone who is close to twice the age of some players get severely hurt

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The Jets could use him again. With the resigning of Revis and Cromartie, two former Jets players, Todd Bowles is signaling that he values experience over raw talent. Favre is among the most experienced out there.


  3. The Favre article reminded me of the time when the Mets signed 47 year old Julio Franco in 2005 for a two year contract. Not sure if baseball players are able to play in the MLB later in their lives than NFL players, but I think this is pretty ridiculous. Julio did, however, become the oldest player in MLB history to hit a home run.

    You can read the story of his signing here:

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, I think the average age of retirement, or of playing, in the MLB is older.

      Goalkeepers in soccer can play up to 40 or more pretty regularly.


  4. The interceptions bit is funny… but i think the Packers fired him, didn’t they? I mean, if you want to poke fun at loyalty, how about pro soccer player Freddy Adu on his like, 11th team in five years?


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