The Nation-Wide Blackout Caused by a Cat Hugely Affects Citizens


Istanbul, Turkey – On March 31st, 2015 a nation-wide blackout struck Turkey and left many people confused and angry. The blackout lasted for approximately 9 hours and is the longest lasting and widest reaching one in the history of Turkey.

In the next morning following the blackout, all except one of the ruling Justice and Development Party officials put the blame on the main opposition party, Republican People’s party. The officials stated “This is nothing but a trick to sabotage the elections coming up in June. They know that they can’t win the election otherwise, so they are trying to damage our reputation via small games like this”. The one official, who is also a part of the Justice and Development Party, disagreed and blamed a cat that went into the central transformer station of the country and messed up the distribution of electricity. He even showed pictures and videos of the cat arriving and leaving the crime scene. The cat was caught right after it left the crime scene, and is now held in a prison in the capital Ankara.jail-cat

The person who was affected the most by the blackout is a girl from Istanbul, who is 21 years old. She told us the whole story of how this blackout majorly affected her life. According to her, at the time of the blackout she was painting her nails with the new Essie “perennial chic” color that she just bought. She explains “as soon as the lights went out, it was pitch black, and I accidentally missed my nail and put nail polish on the side of my finger. How will I face my friends again after this clumsiness?” She continues by telling the aftermath of the blackout. “Obviously I needed to finish painting my nails, since I couldn’t stay with just half of my nails painted. So I had to sacrifice my peach cobbler scented Yankee Candle, which is used strictly for special occasions only, in order to see my hand and finish painting my nails.”

The tragic story of the girl who sacrificed her candle and accidentally painted her finger instead of her nail is all over the news and everyone is concerned if she will ever accept what she did, move on with her life, and re-integrate herself in the society. More to come on the current situation of the cat who allegedly caused the blackout and the girl who was hugely affected by this incident.

** Disclaimer: This article is purely satirical.

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5 thoughts on “The Nation-Wide Blackout Caused by a Cat Hugely Affects Citizens”

    1. I think you are right about First World problems. Thinking about it in the grand scheme of things, where there were operations going on in hospitals during the blackout, small problems like painting nails and straightening hair becomes very insignificant.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I liked that you started out in such a seriousness and gradually became funnier about the situation. A dog would never do this type of thing!

    Like

    1. The blackout was real and it actually happened in the 31st of March, but the rest is exaggeration. The cat and story after that was exaggeration to add the satirical aspect of the Onion, but there was an incident last year in Turkey where there was a blackout in the capital during the counting of votes for the general election, and the Ministry of Energy actually blamed a cat for the incident.

      Like

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