Tag Archives: satire

Parody, Fair Use of Copyright Infringement?


The Campus Theater showed Spaceballs earlier tonight. It is a parody of the original Star Wars Parody. People tend to have polar opinions on parodies, but I am a big fan of them, especially movie parodies. Parodies are merely a form of satire. They imitate “works of art” by deliberately exaggerating them mainly for the purpose of comedy. But is this fair use? or is it a Copyright Infringement?

Continue reading Parody, Fair Use of Copyright Infringement?

Bucknell Holds Racial Equality Assembly: Racism Gone Forever


After a recent public and vulgar example of hate speech broadcast over the Bucknell radio station, WVBU, the student body received numerous emails from President Bravman. Every Bucknell student shared the same response of curiosity as to what someone could have possibly done wrong this time after they saw an email with the subject line “[Students]” from the President. Could there have been another email hack, or would this email potentially be upbeat and shouting praise for a Bucknell student’s behavior. Alas, it was neither. Instead, it was far worse. Continue reading Bucknell Holds Racial Equality Assembly: Racism Gone Forever

In Floor Debate on National Civil Discourse Day, Congress Comes to Blows


Washington, DC-

In what was widely seen as a deeply superficial motion to make February 29 of leap years a day to honor and celebrate civil discourse, Congressional members ended up in a tussle of words and, by some accounts, even blows. Continue reading In Floor Debate on National Civil Discourse Day, Congress Comes to Blows

“Ultimate Selfie Enhancement”: Student to Receive Finger Extension Surgery


“I just can’t fit all my besties in the same picture” said a Bucknell student one morning, “I can’t stand my horrible selfie range.” The 20-year-old Bison, who asked to remain anonymous, has since decided to undergo an extremely dangerous operation that will add 6 inches to every finger on both hands. Over the last few years, only a few other students have gone under the knife for this incredibly painful  procedure. Unfortunately, far less have emerged still able to snap a photo. Continue reading “Ultimate Selfie Enhancement”: Student to Receive Finger Extension Surgery

Philadelphia Phillies voted Best Place to Work in MLB


imgres-3

The Philadelphia Phillies have been voted the best place to work among employees in Major League Baseball. The voting was conducted anonymously, but we interviewed several individuals involved with the process off the record to hear their reaction.

Continue reading Philadelphia Phillies voted Best Place to Work in MLB

Chipotle Employee Diagnosed with PTSD from Telling Customers: “Guac is Extra”


Max Power, a 22-year old college student and Chipotle employee was checked into Golden Cross Hospital earlier this week after being diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The second year employee claims the condition is a result of “stressful working conditions where there is a concentrated focus on alerting customers to the fact that guacamole costs $1.80 extra.”

Power started with Chipotle cleaning/clearing tables before he was promoted to working on the food line. “At first I thought it would be exciting to do something more meaningful, but I really overlooked the pressure of it all,” said Power about working on the line. He began his new experience in the last station before the cash register where he was responsible for adding the finishing touches such as cheese, lettuce, and of course, guacamole. Power says he was constantly reminded of the importance of informing each customer who requested guacamole that it was indeed $1.80 extra. Power admitted, “Most customers seemed to already know guac was extra. Many didn’t seem to care, and some actually seemed annoyed when I would tell them. I started to think it wasn’t really that big of a deal.”

Then on a rainy Monday afternoon, Power finally slipped up. He forgot to inform an elderly gentleman customer of the extra charge for guacamole. When the man realized he was charged for what otherwise seemed like just another free ingredient, he immediately become engulfed with rage. He began to scream at anyone and everyone in a Chipotle uniform until both the young girl working the cash register and the acting Manager were both in tears. “I tried to speak up but I couldn’t be heard over his curses of ‘our generation’ and reasons why we were what’s wrong with this country,” explained Power.

Other Chipotle employees say Max Power changed that day. “He barely even reacted when our Manager threatened to fire him,” said one of Power’s concerned coworkers. Power could not help but to relive the confrontation in his head. “Every time a customer would ask for guac, the roomed seemed to get 20 degrees warmer,” admitted Power. He became so nervous that sometimes he would inform customers that guacamole was extra even if they did not order it. Eventually he could no longer control the volume of his voice. One of Power’s coworkers recounts an experience where a 10-year old girl asked for guacamole and Power shouted at her in response. “He started yelling at her before she even finished asking for it: ‘IT’S EXTRA IS THAT OKAY?!?’ He was out of breath like he just ran a mile.”

Under the recommendation of his manager and parents, Max Power voluntarily took a leave from Chipotle in order to seek medical attention. Power will remain at Golden Cross Hospital for further evaluation and care. “I don’t blame the company. It is important for all customers to know about the extra charge for guac. I know it sounds silly, but I’m going to beat this.” We wish Max Power the best in his path towards recovery.

That’s Right. He’s Back.


BREAKING NEWS: Brett Favre has officially announced that he is coming out of retirement once again to play in the NFL again. *

The last time we saw Brett Favre in uniform was on December 5th, 2010 before he was forced to leave the game due to a devastating shoulder injury (was diagnosed as a slight strain after the game). The veteran had the presence of mind to throw an interception on what so many foolishly believed to be the last of his career to give back-up quarterback, Tarvaris Jackson, enough time to warm-up on the sidelines. This smart play let the Vikings oust the Buffalo Bills 38-14 en route to a memorable 6-10 season. However, it was a sad and serious day for the NFL when Brett Favre finally decided to retire at the end of the season. Or so we thought…

Continue reading That’s Right. He’s Back.

Men Flock to Hungary for Annual Wet T-Shirt Contest


As Christians around the world gather to celebrate Easter weekend, travel agencies across the globe are noting the large numbers of men headed to Hungary for the holy weekend. With “Ducking Monday” fast approaching, local stores are selling out of buckets and pails, while Hungarian natives are brushing off their traditional suspenders and skirts in preparation for their annual wet t-shirt contest.

Continue reading Men Flock to Hungary for Annual Wet T-Shirt Contest

Millennials Outraged Over Obama’s Free Tuition Plan


President Barack Obama’s recent proposal to make community college free for all students has been aggressively attacked by  Millennials, who see the proposal as a violation of their human rights and a disgrace to the education system. The only viable  form of valuable education worth pursuing is paid education. Free tuition sets a precedent among society that higher education can be achieved by everyone, but this creates an increasing demand for higher education with limited, qualified educators. Obama’s proposal aligns with free education which would create unfit educators and a massive free-rider problem among future generations.  In addition, as more students obtain higher education, degrees become completely worthless and our job markets will have an excess of useless skills.

Continue reading Millennials Outraged Over Obama’s Free Tuition Plan